The Art of Complaining
Oh how easy is it to complain about EVERYTHING! We complain about the weather, about our politicians, about our neighbours, about our children, our parents and the list goes on and on. I have often said out loud, “ if I were in charge of (fill in the blanks) everything would run more smoothly. I constantly criticize that horrible merge from the 401 to the 427 where you have to cross over multiple lanes of traffic to get to the Burnhamthorpe exit. If they had asked ME about planning…it would have been much better. (ya, right). My one greatest lesson I learned about complaining was from my very first principal when I started teaching. She was the youngest principal in the board, and I adored her. She often repeated this: “If you have a complaint, be sure you follow it up with a solution. Don’t just gripe constantly about it. If it bothers you…fix it!” My cousin Josie complained to General Mills food about her packet of Dream Whip that did not whip! She wrote a beautiful letter saying how much she enjoyed their various products and was dismayed when the whipping cream did not whip. She was disappointed and thought that the powers that be should know. Her letter was sent and several weeks later, she got a response and an apology from General Mills and with it came a box of all of their products to make up for the defective Dream Whip. She had enough Jello to last quite a while.
There were several complainers in the Bible.
- The Israelites: Grumbled repeatedly against Moses, Aaron, and God because of bitter water, lack of food, and a desire for the food they had while enslaved in Egypt.
- Adam: Blamed Eve and indirectly blamed God for his sin of eating the forbidden fruit (Genesis 3:12).
- Moses: Complained to God about the heavy burden of leading the complaining Israelite nation (Numbers 11:11–15)
- Jonah: Became angry with God for showing mercy to the city of Nineveh and asked God to take his life (Jonah 4:1–3).
- Jeremiah: Questioned God about why the wicked prosper and the faithful suffer (Jeremiah 12:1–4).
- Miriam and Aaron: Complained and spoke against Moses because of his Cushite wife and his unique leadership status (Numbers 12:1–2).
“Churches compromise imperfect people led by imperfect leaders. Just because you can voice a complaint doesn’t mean you should rush to do it. Before you catch the pastor or the music director or any team leader, after service with the dreaded words. “We need to talk” here is a different approach that we should all consider.”
- Pray – before you complain, pray. When you find something that you can complain about, talk to the Lord about it first. Sometimes, what you want to complain about is not worthy of a complaint. As you pray, you can ask God what he wants you to do in this situation, and whatever he leads you to do, then do it. He may lead you to say something or lead you to say nothing.
- Examine Your Heart First – In Matthew, Jesus gives us the one thing we must do first before we find the faults in others. We must examine our hearts first. (read Matthew 7: 3-5) Jesus wants us to look inward first before we jump on the issues of others. Sometimes when we see the flaw in others, we forget our own.
- Put Yourself in Their Shoes – For a moment, forget about yourself and think about what it must be like to walk in the pastor’s shoes (or music director of head of a committee etc). Have you considered the pressure that they are under? Often these leaders carry their burdens and stresses alone.
- Check Your Expectations – is your complaint valid, or is it the result of unrealistic expectations?
Checking your expectations requires us to think about the organization or the leader and see how the complaint aligns with the reality of what the organization can do. - If the expectations are valid, go beyond the surface and figure out the issue. Don’t just look at the
problem, look for the cause of the problem. This will help you move to the next step. - Identify a Solution – Once the issue is clear, now you can start looking for solutions to the problem. By looking for solutions, you position yourself as one who cares and wants to help, not just one who like to complain and grumble.
- Be Willing to Be part of the Solution – Hopefully, part of your solution will be to get involved if
necessary. E.g. If the issue is that there is no choir due to a lack of participation and volunteers, perhaps you can rally your friends and join the choir and help boost the numbers so that there is a choral presence with volume. Your willingness to do this will make you an aid to the church, the music program, and the pastor. - Remember, Grace Matters – Always err on the side of grace. This means that instead of being quick to complain, be quick to give grace. This is done because this is what you want done to you.
So, hopefully, we can overcome the grumbles and all come together to make our world less stressful. We are all loved, and we all love our church, our families, and friends. Let us all be that shining example of how to complain in a manner that causes less division and more harmony.
Source: 9 Things to Do before You Complain about Your Church or Pastor – Clarence L. Haynes Jr. ( I used 8 of them)
St. James Food Bank
Please be advised that the St. James Food Bank does not need egg cartons at this time. Please recycle your egg cartons responsibly. You will be advised when there is again a need for used egg cartons. Thank you all for supporting the SJFB.
Scripture Readers
Please be advised that a printed copy of the psalms and the scriptures that are to be read on any given Sunday will be placed on the lectern for every Sunday worship service. It has come to our attention that some of our dear readers do not have the ability to make a copy of the readings that Halyna sends out every week. She will now be making a single copy which will be in place in case a reader is not able to have their own printed copy.
This will, hopefully, prevent issues of reading the wrong scripture or the wrong version of the scripture. The printed version is exactly what appears on the screen so that everyone is on the same page!
Bible Study Dates
Please take notes of the remaining dates that the Bible Study will occur.
Oct. 6; Oct. 20; Oct 27; Nov. 17; Nov. 24
Kento’s New Musical!!
Kento has created a new musical entitled REIMU which is a modern reimagining of the Japanese folk legend, Snow Woman. The world premiere will take place on Friday, October 16 (evening) and Sunday, October 18 (matinee) at the Array Space Studio (155 Walnut Avenue). Here is the link for more information. The production is endeavouring to raise funds through a GOFUNDME page. That information is also in the link that I have provided.
Well done, Kento. We, at Graceview are so proud of all you have accomplished.
https://www.hibikiproject.org/reimu-hp
NB. A third performance has now been added on Sunday, October 18 at 8:00 PM.
A Taste of Italy Dinner
Outreach plans to host a dinner on Friday, October 16 th at 6 pm in the downstairs hall. It will feature an Italian themed dinner and will be prepared for us by Chef Keith and the students in the culinary program at Thistletown Collegiate. Ticket prices are $30 and all proceeds from the dinner will go to the Thistletown Euro Trip to Italy which will take place during the 2027 March Break. Please save this date on your calendar! Tickets can be purchased from Jean Ross, after service.
Common Scents
Please be advised that our church has a scent-free protocol. It seems that some of our dear parishioners feel unwell due to heavy floral smells. Please be considerate of those in our congregation who are affected by strong smells and odors and refrain from perfumes or colognes when coming to worship on Sunday mornings.
Thank you one and all.